isnt it crazy...

so I think I'm now on page 40 of my journal entries, trying desperately to catch up on all the 'moments' with Alvaro, trying to capture and get down the complete journey...the feelings, the butterflies, the firsts, the excitement, the change...so the following a glimpse into some of the journal...

...I didnt see this coming at all, and Im left replaying, wondering, like a little girl bombarded with all these new emotions, lost in thought, not really here, life has flipped me upside down, I'm in a bliss, wrapped in a haze, is it real? sleep lately is hard, SLEEP has NEVER been hard for me....I cant stop smiling, I loose my breath and words, he awakens me and in finding him I feel Ive found hope...

and then I found myself looking at the entry before in my journal, about a month before Alvaro and I worlds came together...

my prayer today, my prayer this year...is God please give me SOMETHING, cross my path with a glimpse, an opportunity, an option-please let me fulfill your plan and design for me-please show me something-end the silence, the unhappiness, restore in a new way....I want "winter" to be over, some sign of "spring", some sign of a new season...please.

and then the first time ever I wrote a little prayer in my journal in espanol: (granted my spanish needs major help! :) )

entra mi vida, necessito mas de tu, dame tu corazon siempre, necessito abrir mis ojos y mi corazon, ayudame con amor